René's URL Explorer Experiment

{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"DiscussionForumPosting","headline":"Redirect script for those of us who've been through The Incident™","articleBody":"# Summary\n\nTyping \"simpleanal\" into browser bar without autocomplete when DuckDuckGo is default search engine has ended three careers. Let's make it four... wait, no, let me open this issue.\n\n## Current Behavior\n\n```\nBrain: \"Type simpleanal into browser bar for analytics\"\nFingers: \"Got it boss\"\nEnter key: \"LEEEEROY JENKINS\"\nDuckDuckGo: \"Showing results for... oh my\"\nIT Security: \"We need to talk about your search history\"\n```\n\n## Expected Behavior\n\n- Navigate to [Simple Analytics](https://www.simpleanalytics.com/)\n- Maintain employment\n- Look spouse in the eye at dinner\n\n## Root Cause Analysis\n\n1. \"Simple Analytics\" is too many characters\n2. I am lazy\n3. The internet is a dark place\n4. Tab key is apparently optional (it's not)\n\n## Reproduction Steps\n\n1. Open browser during important presentation\n2. Confidently type \"simpleanal\"\n3. Hit Enter with the force of someone who knows where they're going\n4. Watch career flash before eyes\n5. Alt+F4\n6. Update LinkedIn\n\n## Proposed Solutions\n\n### Option A: The Hosts File\n\n```bash\n# /etc/hosts (or C:\\Windows\\System32\\drivers\\etc\\hosts)\n127.0.0.1 simpleanal\n\n# Run a tiny redirect server\nsudo node -e \"require('http').createServer((req,res)=\u003e{\n  res.writeHead(301,{'Location':'https://simpleanalytics.com'});\n  res.end();\n}).listen(80)\"\n```\n\n### Option B: The Nuclear Option\n\n```javascript\n// If user types \"simpleanal\"\nif (query === \"simpleanal\") {\n  alert(\"NO NO NO NO NO\");\n  window.location = \"https://simpleanalytics.com\";\n  browser.history.delete(everything);\n  user.memory.wipe(last_30_seconds);\n}\n```\n\n### Option C: The Gaslight\n\n```javascript\n// Redirect so fast they question reality\nif (query === \"simpleanal\") {\n  window.location = \"analytics.dashboard\";\n  console.log(\"Nothing happened. You saw nothing.\");\n  document.title = \"You were always looking at analytics\";\n}\n```\n\n## Definition of Done\n\n- [ ] Can type \"simpleanal\" into DuckDuckGo without consequences\n- [ ] IT stops snickering when I walk by\n- [ ] Wife believes it was \"just analytics\"\n\n## Test Cases\n\n- ✅ Works when boss is watching\n- ✅ Works during screen share\n- ✅ Works at family computer","author":{"url":"https://github.com/wbnns","@type":"Person","name":"wbnns"},"datePublished":"2025-09-08T13:49:41.000Z","interactionStatistic":{"@type":"InteractionCounter","interactionType":"https://schema.org/CommentAction","userInteractionCount":1},"url":"https://github.com/83/scripts/issues/83"}