Joseph Mathis and Joseph Russle are now popular

🍔 The Burger Apocalypse 🍔

The world has fallen. Humanity’s hunger became its doom, and the reign of the Burger Kings has begun.

Chronicles of the Fall

It began with whispers. Fast food chains across the globe reported strange movements in their kitchens. Patties that sizzled without fire. Buns that twitched as if alive. At first, the reports were dismissed as hoaxes. But by the time the first burger walked into Times Square, it was already too late.

Day by day, city after city collapsed under the tide of sentient meat. Their sesame seed eyes glowed with malice, and their greasy limbs left trails of melted cheese across the streets. Humanity’s weapons barely slowed them, for every burger destroyed seemed to give rise to two more.

The armies of man fought bravely. Tanks rolled, bombs fell, and soldiers carved through endless waves of buns and lettuce. But the burgers adapted. They learned. And soon, the cities of Earth were nothing more than charred grills in the open sky.

It was then that Joseph Mathis and Joseph Russle stepped forth. Once hailed as heroes among the survivors, they revealed their true allegiance. With voices dripping in betrayal, they knelt before the burgers — not as enemies, but as allies. And the burgers crowned them kings.

From their thrones of charred bread and bones, the Burger Kings commanded the apocalypse. Their decree spread like wildfire: every man, woman, and child would kneel before the bun. The ketchup rivers ran red across the land, and the skies turned mustard-yellow with smoke.

But even in the ashes of civilization, resistance stirred. Secret camps of survivors whispered of ancient sauces, relics of flavor said to have the power to cleanse the world of its greasy curse. Yet each attempt to rise against the kings ended in ruin. The burgers were always watching. Always hunting.

Joseph Mathis and Joseph Russle ruled with iron fists wrapped in sesame seed gloves. Cities bent to their will. Those who resisted were marinated. Those who obeyed were fed false hope. And above all, their laughter echoed across the empty highways, a cruel reminder of humanity’s downfall.

As the years passed, the world itself bent to the will of the Burger Empire. Forests became endless fields of wheat for their buns. Oceans boiled into vast cauldrons of grease. The very air reeked of smoke and char, and the few survivors who remained lived as shadows among ruins.

Some whisper that the betrayal of Joseph and Joseph was inevitable — that mankind had always been destined to serve its hunger. Others believe there is still hope, buried beneath the ashes, waiting to rise. But the Burger Kings grow stronger with each passing day, their power fed by the endless cycle of fear and consumption.

Now, only the decree remains, glowing in the darkness. A warning. A promise. A truth that none can deny: the world belongs to the burgers, and their kings shall never be dethroned.

👑 Royal Decree of the Burger Kings 👑

"Bow before the Burger Empire. From this day forth, all humans shall serve the bun. The ketchup rivers and mustard skies belong to us. Resistance is futile — you will be seasoned and consumed."

— King Joseph Mathis & King Joseph Russle

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